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Karaoke Superstar...not It seems that I am not meant to be a karaoke star. Ever. The 'rents decided it would be fun to go hang out at one of our favorite restaurants that offered karaoke "fun" on such nights like today. And well, they had fun. Mom told me that she wasn't going unless I was going to sing. And I wasn't dying to go, but I went anyway, telling her that if, if, they had a song that I knew well enough, I would try it. Well, we got there, and blah, blah, dinner-cakes, we started choosing songs. Dad did his normal routine of Desperado, while I searched for a song. First off, karaoke ticks me off. They always have songs by groups that I like. But NEVER the songs that I know. It's crazy. They had Eve6, but some song I'd never heard. They had Matchbox 20, no song I'd heard. They had A Dave Matthews Song, people. ONE. But I digress. I picked one, finally, that I could sing. Drops of Jupiter by Train. I could do that. I LOVE that song. So I went up there, heart pounding, and put my name up there. He went through like five other people before calling me up there, and I swear, if you had a stethoscope near me, you could hear my heart quicken, then slow each time he DIDN'T call my name. I went over the song in my head. I knew it well enough to karaoke it. Yeah. So I did it. He finally called my name, I went up there, started it. Let me say that I don't do public stuff well. I don't. My stomach starts doing flips, my throat clenches, and I begin to shake. Very, very badly. But I went up there. Sometimes, the shaking recedes, but that's only when I think I'm doing good. And I sounded horrible to myself. So I shook, petrified for the entire experience. I didn't hang up the mic and run away, but when I finished it, I walked back to the table. People clapped, mom and dad assured me I did fine. And then I ran into the bathroom and cried while I felt like puking. I told mom. I told her how badly it would affect me. When I came back, she suddenly looked sorry, saying that she thought she was just playing with me, and that it wouldn't really hurt me that bad. I know that she thinks that, but it did. I was shaking for fifteen minutes, at least, after that. It wasn't fun. And I don't understand. I have an awesome voice. I KNOW I do. Well, I think I do sometimes. But... in some situations, I just can't do it. Maybe I have performance anxiety or something. But it's horrible. I do it with speaking in front of people too. Formally, anyway. At least I've stopped crying. <-Ghost-> |
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