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Moving On
2003-08-25 at 8:26 p.m.
Pieces of You Topic:
Fresh Start
We've given the site a whole new look, a whole new start, a whole new life. So this weeks topic is about just that.... A chance to start over again. A chance to start over might alter our whole outlook on life. Maybe it's in school, a relationship, work, or much more. In fact, some of us would like to get rid of the past entirely and start all over again and do things differently.
Wow... That's completely what I've been facing the past few weeks. I've started myself over in many ways as a freshman in a new high school.
The change wasn't exactly something I asked for. But it's happened all the same.
If I could ask for a change of my past, I'm not entirely sure what I'd ask for. I'd want to go back and change some things, sure, but I haven't destroyed a friendship, killed a person, or done something that has destroyed my life to this day. There isn't much that changing anything I've done would affect.
It might make me happier. Or smarter. Or more... something. But in the long run, I'm not dying to take that chance.
I wish my friendship with Blake had gone better. But going back in my life will never change that. The fault lies on him. I know I had the whole crushy thing going on him for a while, but that never changed US. He did.
I wish that I had realized what I really had to offer before now. I have a faith in myself. It's not much. But it's more than I did for the longest time. And I have my friends that I found last year to thank for that. It helps to have somebody who believes in you.
I'll be making a cast page soon. Just because I miss my friends, and I want to be able to see them somehow. If that's the only way possible, then so be it. I never want them to fade.
I can't change much about my academic career, but I do kind of wish that I had never met Monica. She was the slump in my life. We were friends, but... she wasn't the best of influences on me. But I know better now.
That's the problem with sitting here, wishing for things. Everything that I know now, that I wish I did back then, I only learned by living through what happened to me. I can't go back and erase the good or the bad, because it would destroy the very thing I want myself to know the most.
Life isn't about wishing for the past. It's about reaching for the future. I think I know that now.
Living in the past just makes things harder on me. As much "fun" as it can be sometimes... it's just better to move on and keep moving on.
<-Ghost->
Song: Moving On-Good Charlotte
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:I
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