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changing Well, hello there! Have you used "spam it" yet? Good sheep. Have a cookie. Anyway, I can't think of an interesting prelude to what I'm going to say, and I'm kinda tired, but alas, type I must. Reader, I'm worried about the Beaver..no wait. What I mean is, I'm worried about me. I'm not the same as I used to be...I've changed, I suppose is the word for it. I'm falling right back into the big loop I go through, and it's annoying the heck out of me. See? Right there, I wasn't about to say heck. I've been through this before. And normally, it comes right before I have a huge revival, and renounce all evil things before me, and try to be the goody goody I was before this...but I'm not sure what I want anymore Yeah, sure, blame it on hormones, blame it on confusion from my teenage years, which it probably is, but...God help me, I don't know if I want to go back. I'm having fun doing this, and I haven't done anything that bad yet, like, gotten drunk, done drugs, had sex, it's just...little things are starting to change. I'd like to keep them at little things...but I think I'm a bad influence on myself. I do know, however, that I can keep my good judgment, like, to not get drunk (beer's icky) and to not do drugs (stupid) and to not have sex (don't want to be pregnant before graduation) I don't know why I just opened up like that, well hey, maybe it's the big word DIARY in all this, but...I'm supposed to be ranting... well I suppose I am. I'm not a horrible person, and I'm not perfect...but I don't know if there's a happy medium, ya know? *sighs* G'night, spam it. |
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