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Sore Bulls Ow. OW. OW! Owwwwie. My legs/arms/lips/knees hurt. Dang football. Mom told me I was going to be sore today, but I had no idea. Ooch, eech, och. And my lips were poofy yesterday, but now they're kinda...fluidy. Mom thinks I snuck off in the middle of the night and had some botox injections or something. She says I'm going for the pouty lip look. I'm actually just going for the "What the? Did I hit a BOULDER with my LIPS?" look. They feel very very strange. It feels funny when I talk. And even more so when I rub my teeth against my lips, because whatever is inhabiting them at the moment MOVES AROUND when I do so. Eeuch. And my knees are a leetle bruised. And my hand hurts like heck. I don't know why anybody would ever play football. Wait, okay, they get paid millions of dollars a minute to do so. Never mind. I completely get it. In other news, I tried some Red Bull today. Just on the way home, actually. I don't feel much different, except for when I remember that I've had some, and I should feel perkier. Because it's a huge placebo. A huge, cherry battery acid-tasting placebo. But it works. So I've decided to make myself a little sugar water and tell myself that it'll perk me right up. And poof, I'll have Red Bull. Just add some antifreeze, and I'll be on my way to having a hit. Actually, I think the stuff does actually work. But not the way you'd think. I've been burping since I've had it, and lemme tell ya, that stuff tastes just as bad, if not worse, coming back up. I think that's their big secret. People lie in bed, and as their eyes get heavy, and they roll over to get comfy, they burp and groan because suddenly the bad taste just wakes them right back. So, there's your big secret. I hope you feel enlightened now. *burp* Bleeeh. <-Ghost-> |
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