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Laughin' out loud
2003-12-26 at 7:09 p.m.
I promise I'm not going to complain about viewage rates, I promise, I promise. Because I'm cool like that.
Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that the people who've already written me notes before, and that I've had the ability to help comfort and console in the past, or just recently... those people are more important than a high viewage.
I'm not out to be popular. I don't know why I care. Seriously. I've never wanted to be popular. So screw you, popularity. I don't know why I tried to change my philosophy.
So, I felt really really happy last night. And... I have absolutely no idea why. I just...decided to feel happy. And I've come to yet another conclusion about myself.
(Viewers beware: These conclusions last about... a week, and then a new one replaces it. It's part of my quest. I'm only 14, it's my job)
I get depressed. Really, really easily. Or I have in the past. I'm sure we've all read those entries of mine. Or at least I had. Man. Those suck.
But yeah. I do get incredibly down for NO reason. I'm a slightly spoiled white girl. I'm overweight. Big whoop.
I just thought to myself last night, which is normally dangerous, heh, and I just.. found it. I found my secret. I think... here's the conclusion bit... that I needed a problem. I needed something... something that I can complain about, something that can make me normal?
I wanted to be depressed. This is very strange, considering the time spent in said depressions wherein I whine and moan about NOT wanting to be depressed, but there's part of me keeping me there.
So, I'm over that for now. Nice to know, huh? I decided that I have too much to be happy about to spend my time being mopey. Yay!
I'm getting worried about half of my break being over, but... I have a whole new set of classes... and NO Journalism. And you know, I really don't mind working on the paper. Maybe now that I don't have to do it for a grade, it might be more fun. Because I don't have to be there.
That's where I work the best, so... I'm feeling kinda good about it. "Kinda good" in the "not wanting to shoot myself or stab myself repeatedly with the small thumbtacks while in the room" kind of way. I see definite progress.
Happy Day After Christmas!
<-Ghost->
Song Snippet:
You're laughin' out loud,
At just the thought
Of bein' alive.
And I was wonderin',
Can I just be you, tonight?
Quote:
SPIKE: Just tryin' to keep you safe, I bet.
DAWN: I feel safe with you.
SPIKE: *cough* Take that back!
(Crush)
:SOUNDTRACK:
Nerf Herder
Scissor Sisters
John Mayer
Radiohead
Mars Volta
:I
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