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Deep thoughts... by...ow.
2004-07-19 at 8:13 p.m.
I feel gross. I've taken about 6 or 8 pills today, and my head is killing me still. I have a sinus headache, and my stomach feels sick, and blech. And I feel cold, then hot, then cold, then hot, and it's annoying.
My writing is slow, and my brain's even slower, so I'm thinking about just tuning out and going to do something that requires little thought process. Like watching The Daily Show online or something.
I had a weird experience last week during VBS. There was a girl there, 17, living with one of the ladies who comes to church there... who was about 6 or 7 months pregnant. She was a really nice girl, but... the lady she was living with talked to Mr. Youth and me about her situation.
The girl's living with her, but once the baby is born, she can't support them. She's basically homeless once it's born.
The girl's boyfriend's family says they'll help out, but her own family won't, because "they're racist."
It was just...wow. Makes me thankful to be where I am, and who I am, I guess... not grateful to be fat and anti-attractive, but... y'know... I feel like I know better.
I know stuff happens. I know there are moments where good sense fails. And I know you can never really know how life'll go for you. But I know my family. I've been raised by a loving, and good family. A thing a lot of folks don't have.
And... in the community that our church is centered in... it isn't abnormal in the least for girls my age to be pregnant.
I was taking care of a lady's baby while we were having some off-time during VBS, and she was off helping with some class, and...
A kid came into our section and asked me if the baby was mine.
I was speechless. It's just... wow. It may be a moment I'll remember for a while. And it may be a good thing that happened. So I'll know. When the time comes to make decisions that matter like that, I'll know.
It was just... God, I can't even really explain what went through me at that moment.
Shock, disbelief... I wasn't offended by her question. I mean, I didn't take it to mean I look like a slut or something. And I wasn't hurt by it.
I was just amazed. That the girl who asked saw no reason why it wouldn't be mine, I guess.
Just...wow.
Okay. That's my deep thought of the day. Deep thought hurts me. Me go now.
<-Ghost->
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