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Attitude check
2003-09-07 at 1:04 p.m.
I just got back from The Church today. It was... oddly enough, enjoyable.
It's actually been a long time since I enjoyed all of church. Youth can be fun or boring, singing can be fun or boring, and the sermon can be fun or boring.
And today just seemed to come together perfectly.
Now, anybody who's been reading this can see that I don't really talk about my spirituality a lot. Mostly because I don't quite understand all of it. It's kind of been a problem I've had lately. But it's getting better.
But today just seemed to reach me a little. I have been far too distant lately, and today just seemed to kinda go "*whap* Hey, you there."
And I needed that. Much like Linz needed before, but there was no butt-kicking involved. Just head-whapping.
But it wasn't really the sermon. It was the worship. There's a song that I taught dad, and that we've performed before, called How Deep the Father's Love For Us.
Kind of a new hymn. It's recent-er than other ones, at any rate. And I love it. I normally hate songs like this, for some reason, but this one... just gets me.
I don't know why, but the last verse is the hardest for me.
"Why should I gain from his reward?
I cannot give an answer.
But this I know with all my heart,
His wounds have paid my ransom."
I know that some of my readers may not hold the same views I do, and that's fine, but I do just want to get something out there.
I'm nothing. In this scheme of things... I am nothing. Especially if I'm worshipping my God, who died and redeemed his followers, and is using us to tell others.
I'm just a tool. Snicker, snerk, but still. I, myself, am nothing. It's a strange realisation, but it needed to be realised. (Screw you, American English.)
And, y'know, it's kind of helpful. Lately, I've been thinking that my parents are not only insane, but they are idiots. It's just been a recent discovery. And I have a feeling I know why. Cause I'm a teenager and it's the cool new thing.
But I just had a little bit of an attitude check.
And now... this attitude must go eat her lunch.
She will be back.
<-Ghost->
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:I
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