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Wah. Hit me.
2004-09-14 at 10:24 p.m.
Here's what I was going to write around 5 today. My computer decided to be dumb, and it killed the internet for a while.
But here it is:
Lord help me, I have a crush. And I hate myself for it. But I have one. Stupid P.E. class that puts me around many attractive boys, though most of them are immature little jerks.
I don't even KNOW this guy. I've talked to him a few times, and I've done my share of ogling, and I've tried ignoring it, but argh!
I'm too old for this! No, I know I'm at the perfect age for this, but here's a new tactic: I'm too fat for this!
He's all athletic and cute and stuff, and...bleh. He likes Third Day, though, and... he's... I hate this. SO much.
I don't let myself have crushes. And I'm starting to get over this one, I think. It's not like a creepy, stalker-like crush or anything. It's just a *fluttery feeling* and swoon kind of crush, which personally makes me want to heave.
I want this to be over. I don't do crushes. I don't do any of that stuff, because I can't. I also don't for the sake of the other person.
Like I want to embarass them or something, y'know?
I'm not depressed. Don't take that wrong. I just know the facts, and I don't want to live in some dipsy little dream-world, thinking I'm hot stuff. I'd rather be real, and have friends.
And, honestly, he's bound to have at least 2 other girlfriends or something. He's a freshman, too. And he's one of the many testosterone-poisoned boys in the class. You know those types. The types that push around others (albeit playfully), steal the ball and make repeated attempts to sink a basket, undaunted even when they fail...
And they never stop messing with the other boys. It's...well, a little gay if you look at it from another perspective, but... that is, ladies and gentlemen, the male teenager.
At least at Central High.
Well, kiddles, I'm hungry. I may be back later today with more happy news, but I don't really know what.
So, um, if something hits me, I'll be back. If not, thank the Lord, 'cause that would hurt.
<-Ghost->
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