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Love bites. (Mmm... vampires.) Well, I survived Valentine's Day. Sorta. I mean, obviously I survived, it's just... that was quite possibly the dullest day I've ever lived through. And I've had some dull ones. I got no candy from either parent, even though for the past 15 years (ish) I've always gotten at least a little something. That was kind of depressing. And then of course at school they had the great big show of delivering carnations to people who actually have other teenagers who "love" them. I didn't want any flowers or anything, it's just the show of the whole thing that makes me feel worse than I did before. Even though I know for a fact that now is not the time for me to be "falling in love" or dating someone, it would be very nice to have someone who cares like that. I don't need it yet. I'm only 15. But it's the society I live in, and while in my mind I know that it's ridiculous to tie yourself down so early in life, my heart is harder to convince. I can only be independent for so long, you know? Oh, who am I kidding? I can be independent. I'm a free-thinker (kind of... sometimes. Maybe? Please? Crap.), and I like to do things for myself (except clean). But I hurt sometimes. Everybody does. Everybody needs a support system. I would complain that I need somebody to love, but this past year, I think I've grown to realize that I can love my friends without causing any suspicions as to whether or not I like them. I enjoy that freedom. I can touch, I can laugh, I can say things that most girls don't, just because I know I'm safe with my friends. If I'm casual and not uptight and nervous and waiting for a response in my "flirtation," then it's not going to bother them one bit. Plus, Brandy is a very touchy-feely guy. He keeps trying to sit on my elbow. I won't explain. Mostly because I don't even get it. Anyway. I have to go eat breakfast. I want some goshdarn candy, ya'll! GOSH! <-Ghost-> |
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