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Uncaring
2003-03-03 at 6:46 p.m.
'Ey mates. I'm 'ere doin' me very own journal thing.
Ok, enough with the typin' in British. Dad's playing a game called the Getaway, and he's got me all Cockney and stuff now.
It's a bugger of a thing to do, talk British, that is. But it's worth it.
But, on to the meat of this post.
I...well, it's a little hard for me to talk about, maybe. I guess it's cause I'm so unsure of my stance on the deal...
You see, my sister has been sick. With a way over 100 fever for about... five to six days now. She's starting to walk with a limp, and things aren't looking up.
The first time we took her to the doctors...they couldn't find anything wrong with her. Is it just ours, or are all doctors idiots?
We took her to Urgent Care Center yesterday... or Saturday, one of those days... and they did some blood work on her.
They called back today... and urged my mom to bring her in again. They needed more samples. Few people are called back, so it's kinda creepy.
More creepy is the fact that the blood sample was growing something. A "contaminant." They wouldn't really give us the Doctors-to-English translation, but... normally blood doesn't grow things, right?
So...that's where they are now. Mom and Stephanie, up getting her looked at again. Probly not the last time too.
What if it IS something serious? I mean, it's gotta be something pretty bad to keep her fevered for five to six days straight.
I don't know how I feel about this.
Nobody believes me, but I... I don't love my sister. I don't. I see her as nothing but a pain that I wish would go away.
Now she might. And I don't know how I feel about it.
That's making me feel worse than I ever knew I could. I don't know how I'll react if it is something serious. I'll probly be a jerk about it, but I don't want to be.
I want to love my sister. I'm supposed to. But I don't. She's screwed our entire relationship, and I don't see myself ever wanting to be near her again.
But it would kill my family. So, for the sake of being helpful, I can pretend. I'll pretend to be worried. But I want to care.
I need to care...but I don't.
God help me
<-Ghost->
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